me, you, us

REDCROSS EVERY DAY THIS WEEK! OH MY TIAN.

Day out with therdsak and family the whole day.. Had fun (: Well, at least there’ll be some memories to be kept. I hope shin remembers me by next june haha. Quite sad that we won’t be there to see his first steps, hear his first words, etc.. He’s such a cute boy I’ll miss all of them D:

I’ve planned what to do for the remaining days of the holidays. Hope my plan can be carried out smoothly. I made 19-22 the busiest days D: Sigh. I feel like im preparing for depression. Giraffe shall be there to accompany me (:

I’m not ready to leave, cause i know i won’t be able to survive without you.

Giraffe!

I must really refrain from using the computer. There’s so much to accomplish for the holidays! Ho no. I don’t want to be screwed up again! D:

Must finish all homework asap.
Must do Lee’s worksheets must must.
Must settle all rc stuff asap.
Must get squadmates to work with me!
Must do what a normal pri school kid does during holidays.
Must buy alot of things D:

X’mas is coming!

My first present! <3

I can’t rotate the image): But anw its so cuteee right I love it (: Heh.

(ROTATED!;D)

I don’t want to spend my christmas in Korea D: Sigh. Can’t believe that i’ve never really celebrated christmas in my life. This year wouldn’t be any better. Shall end here. Quite lazy to blog about fdc camp, another time i guess.

海派甜心 is super super nice !

MUST WATCHHH!

come to think of it, you’re really unfair to me. you can do anything you want to me, but i cant do the same. you want to talk to me then must force me to pick up the call. when you dont want to talk, (but i really need to talk to you), you wont even bother to pick up my call.

sigh. maybe some things are just not meant to be said.
i dare not tell anyone how i truly feel anymore because even you dislike the things that i say. so much for saying you always want to hear how i feel, you really want to try to understand. you know that im not good with words. i have no idea how to convey my thoughts to you. and when i try, you can only tell me some hurtful things which are not even helpful. well i guess sometimes we ourselves don’t know how hurtful our words can be. I admit that i say things very crudely too.

who can i talk to? who can understand me? even you don’t like to hear me.

there’s some things you do which i really dont like. but i try to accept it. while you don’t even try to accept me for who i am. i feel like i’ve changed so much for you. so drastic changes that i’m starting to regret. Sigh. Why.

I was so scared for the 12 days to come. I guess there’s no need to feel so afraid anymore, because you aren’t even concerned about it.

time reveals one’s true heart.
indeed, time has shown me your true self.

 

Really, really, really not easy to run the unit. One man show is so tough but sometimes, i have no choice.

Looks like there’s some betrayer/ busybody/ big mouth assholes hiding somewhere, spreading rubbish about others.

Haha oh my, just keep your mouth shut.
Open too big later hornets fly in !!!

Sick and tired and confused and lost and scared and in a very bad state of mind these few days.

Sorry to everyone whom i have offended. Including you, yes you.

How i wish there is some really soothing music playing now.

I’ve been playing icy tower recently. Guess it keeps me partially occupied, while i go on thinking. Well you don’t really need to concentrate while playing that game. My vision will blur after a short while but i can continue playing.. Much better than stoning (:

My parents have been giving me odd looks. As if they are suspecting something, or they know that something is wrong. Looks like my dad is going to take action soon ): Mum asked me some funny questions just now. Its time to start reconsidering about some things that have been happening. I need to change my lifestyle.

There are some things where no one can help you. No matter how close that person is to you, or how smart and efficient and useful that person can be. Some things.. are just not meant to be said. I guess you can see that i’ve been keeping so much to myself.. Who can i speak to?

No one is perfect. But some times you just cant help but expect so much from a person. Its just you being so selfish on your part, cuz you really hope that there can be someone who can make you happy in all ways, who can fulfill all your wishes, expectations. you will choose a person and put many of your hopes in her/him,  and then feel disappointed after knowing that, he/she isn’t perfect. he/she can’t do what you want.

I can’t put my thoughts into words and its irritating :@
There’s so much on my mind. I feel so troubled and helpess sometimes.
I get so frightened by my own thoughts and fears.
I dread for each day to pass, really really dread.

Did you realise?

被遗弃的伤悲 ， 被忘掉的可悲。
Being misunderstood and not being understood; it hurts.

 

 

‘I got my (   ) letter! ‘

I should smile and say yay too.

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